Cold Nights

Well its a cold night in Mckinney. IT is wild. I am here in Mckinney, not in iraq... and im tired. I always see my self looking at the cars as we ride by them. I had the privledge of standing in line behind a middle eastern guy. I found myself checking him out for explosives while in a line in te USA. That is something. Suz told me today that the hostages were killed or some news service said that they were killed. When i was in iraq i tried to tell people that force feeding democray to the iraqis is like trying to keep a suicide bomber from blowing up innocent people. It just wont happen. Iraq is just a place that wont be violence free for at least 15 years. *disclaimer* That previous statement doesnt reflect the views of the United States Air Force. Its sad that i have to put a disclaimer up, but i have too. I contemplated blogging about it, but i decided that it correlates with Cold Nights. Well some bloggers decided to get together and ban together to attempt to get me punished due to my writings opn my blog because ppl said that i was too graphic and the "american people" werent ready for what i was saying. These person(s) got enough people to stop reading my blog(which is bullshit) and they sent a petition to the Special Operations Command In Florida. Well of course a staff sgt got it and he passed it on to a Tech Sgt who Passed it on to a Lt who passed it on to a Maj who passed it on to a Lt. COl who passed it on to the three star general. They called me today and they thanked me for my service as a Combat Controller, and they told me about the persons and showed me the email of the lady who originated it. I laughed and the General laughed and called the woman a crazed woman out to disrupt the freedoms of americans. So i didnt get in trouble, but all the peopel who used to blog on my blog have stopped because they listened to one lady who lied and has them all fooled. I guess thats just how it is. Actually i got a praise from the General for doing a good job and following the protocol as far as blogging goes... So lady(you know who you are) KISSS MY FUCKING ASS!!!!

I am a goood person, and i love what i do and noone will make me stop performing my job for my country. It especially wont be some overly paranoid woman who tried to attack my Career. It is not only the lady its every ass who signed(e-signed) there name on the "petition". Yall can kiss my ass too! Now go and tell that to the General.

Also i got a number to the animal rights ppl and i should start working a a local animal shelter(volunteer) heling animals find homes!! YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

Well i gotta head to bed..nite

Back To Work

Well my first day back on the job went as planned. Lots of work, lots of people and very little breaks and time to relax. I ate at jack in the box, worked and got briefed on what to expect at Carswell NAS. I got some other news that my buddies in Iraq are doing fine and noone has been hurt or injured. I know that they keep this up that maybe i can survive the whole cold days at home and not at war. I also heard that an american was kidnapped in Iraq. That makes me wanna kinda be there to volunteer to try and find this person. If it is a male, he will be beat and tortured and killed, and if it a female it will be worse. I pray for them and i hope that they have a speedy recovery. Well i hope that you guys can find some time for pray for all of them, not jjust the Americans. Well i gotta run... talk to ya laters.

Back in Tx/Leave Over

Hey guys, sorry for not writing in such a long time... I have been really busy and i had to move all of my things from barksdale afb to mckinney texas for this tdy. Things have been ok though. I have spoken with my grandma who is doing fine, and i have also been able to figure out if and when we will be back in La. It appears that after ft.worth, we will go back to barksdale. I guess i will blog later. see ya

Back in Tx/Leave Over

Hey guys, sorry for not writing in such a long time... I have been really busy and i had to move all of my things from barksdale afb to mckinney texas for this tdy. Things have been ok though. I have spoken with my grandma who is doing fine, and i have also been able to figure out if and when we will be back in La. It appears that after ft.worth, we will go back to barksdale. I guess i will blog later. see ya

Hey everyone! Happy turkey day. I hope everyone is doing well. CC and I are ready to go out. I Cant understand some things though. I have a lady that has taken over my hotel room "house" and i have makeup bags everywhere, blow dryers, combs, brushes, make up stuff and clothes galore! I am going nuts. She is in the bathroom as we speak and she just continues to run the blow dryer until the fuse blows(lol) and she has to reset the bathroom.

So on to last night. I decided that i would take a hot towel and twist it up and pop her on her but while she was in her PJs. Oh god..why did i do that.. A wrestle commenced and i must say...for her to be 5'4 135 pounds, she is stronnnnnng. If i didnt have AF SPEC OPS training, i think she would have kicked my ass or given me a good damn fight. LOL! From now on i will never ever underestimate the power of short women. :D All in all we had fun. Oh yeah i almost forgot...she tried to get me to get a manicure. I told her no because thats too fruity for me. I am too much of a man. I did watch her though. While i was in there, the chinese lady told me that i should get her toes done so that i could suck them tonite. PUKE!! I dont suck toes, and although i laughed, i declined. We both laughed and it was funny!

She did however tell me that this was gonna be her first holiday season without her parents and that hit home. We talked about it and im gonna do my best to help her out.

Well i hope you guys have a happy turkey day

thanksgiving

Hey guys, sorry that i havent posted lately. CC girl and I have been spending a lot of time together. Now these times are especially hard for me, and they are hard for her. Her parents are gone, and well when i was a teen i had some troubling times. Around this time when i was about 16 or so, i had about 8 good friends die from Nov to Jan 1. The irnoic part about it was that i always had the last thing that they had touched before they died. It was a hard time for me. My girlfriend at the time when iwas 16 was shot by her step father who mistaked her for a robber. These are ok times, but not ok times....

Well me and CC went to the mall today, and she tried to get me to get a manicure and a pedicure, and i think thats a little fruity so i declined. Then the lady at the nail shop asked me if i sucked toes! EWWW I told her no and she called me a bad boyfriend..lmfao Then we drove around and held hands and tonite was the first night that we kissed. She looked at me and i looked at her and she said you looked into my eyes as i loooked into yours. I said yea, and we both said it feels funny. That was bizaree. SO we talked and laughed and i came up with the idea that she shuldnt sit at home on turkey day alone, that she should come with me and my family on turkey day. So we are leaving in the morning and she decided to spend the nite. She told me that she was sad and depressed before she met me, and now she is just happy. She told me that she wants me to hold her be there if she needs someone throughout the nite. I told her that i would do that, and im gonna hold her til she falls asleep and me and the cat are gonna crash on the couch once she crashes. Well I will try to post tomorrow... See ya and happy turkey day

Today felt good but was exhausting

Well today was a good day but a ver y exhausting one. I got up early thanks to CC waking me up because i would have over slept. I went to the airport accompanied by my friends from the FBI,Secret Service, and the DIA(Defense Intelligence Agency)...(yes there is a CIA and a DIA). We went to the airport and picked up some ministers who brought in 50k dollars in donations and turkeys from a well known processing plant(145 to be exact, and i wont give the name of the company because certain peta freaks will flood my email with damn peta videos and i dont need that crap from her) and they were to be given out to the hurricane Katrina and Rita Evacuees. So we went to eat early breakfast which i ate like a pig, and then i called a few probation officers to keep a few people from going to jail during the holidays and hopefully i can get them on the path to doing right and turning around there lives. Well before i knew it, it was after 1pm and well what do you know..it was time to eat again. I went to the Golden Coral and we ate and i stuffed myself again...then it was back to work and then the evacuees started pouring in. We gave each person that was there 120 dollars and some thanksgiving baskets. I also had some people on hand from the news and papers and they interviewed people and we were able t o secure employment for some people due to FEMA being BROKE and kicking these people out. In the defense of FEMA(which they shouldnt get any) the evacuees should have known that the day was coming and that they needed to get off there asses and make something happen for them. Well after the Cermony was over we went to picadillys and yes i stuffed my face again... i feel sick.

Then i came home and i called CC and we talked for a long time and she came over to tell me that she was happy that i came into her life and we talked about the loss of her parents. I think that this is a hard pull to swallow and she will never get over it, but i think that it is theraputic to talk about it.. well hopefully tomorrow i wont each so much!

Se eya laters

Here We Go Again

I got a call from my grandma today and she told me that she wanted to leave from the west coast. I was dumbfounded. She wanted to leave her husband, her friends..her everything. She wanted out. She told me that the enviroment in L.A. was just getting out of hand, and some of my cousins and shit were living lives that werent good for her health or innocent people. I told her to tell me who they were and what they were doing, and she refused. I guess she knew that i would be on my to Cali to clean house In-Iraq style. Maybe it was good that i didnt know, maybe it wasnt. My granny takes Nitro and doesnt need that stupid stuff in her life. She has lived her life and all she needs to do is have fun stress free.

I other news, i went to have a nice time with Chukie Cheese LAdy aka CC lady and we laughed and had fun. I always tell people that i will bust them in the head with a water balloon and today i did! I hit CC lady smack in the head with a water balloon and we had a water fight. I had so much fun! I dont think we are a couple or anything but we sure enjoy each others company. While i was with her, i got a call from my cousins brother which is my cousin also who told me that her brother is gonna do 10 years in jail at 24 years old behind a damn charge that took a blow to me and my family and they requested my help. I dont know. I konw he wants to get out..shit he is a felon already and i can get him out, but i know he wont do right. It may just give him the feeling that he is invisible. I said that once i make it to mckinney that i would see what i could do. I am sure that i could get him out without any jail time, but he needs to pay for his crime. Stealing cars from dealerships and sending them to chop shops isnt the 9 to 5 kinda job he should have ya know. Hell i guess i cant save the world. I try but i cant. When i was in iraq i didnt trust anyone but the guys that i came over there with. I didnt trust the women...the kids..or the old people. I hated when i had to ride on convoy missions and i would have those beggin ass kids saying mister mister choc o late mister mister give me give me. Yea i called em beggin ass kids because within those beggin ass kids, theres some women or little kid with explosives strapped to them trying to kill me. The hell with that. People have told me that i am cold and heartless for pointing my weapons at kids. PFFFT!!! I came home the same way that i left. If i would have trusted those fuckers over there then i wouldnt have come back the same way. I rode in a helo behind a .50 or i was lowered from the helo into hostile territory and i made it so people who call me cold and heartless...go screw yourself!!! CAP's daughter told me that she wanted us to go back to iraq to keep other men and women from dying. She called us protecters. It was a good feeling. She was willing to scarifice her time with her dad and me just to keep others from dying. Damm shes gonna be president.


I would like to thank pilot mom, Me, Suz, Haley, Wegrit, mama, kristen, whistler and all the rest of you guys for sticking by me through iraq and everything. I know some people were swayed by a certain persons views and perceptions on things but throughout it all, you guys have stayed. I am open minded Hawk, and i will be forever. Thanks for sticking by me. You are the real troopers.

My Weekend

Well my weekend was great. I went to the shooting range. I went fishing and the girl from chukie cheese accompanied me on all of it. We went out to eat at picadillys. It was the first all around meal all day. I called and checked on my nephew who is doing better and in KY now. I also went to the IMAX thingy which was cool. I am supposed to go to Ft.Polk La to welcome some air force guys home from Iraq. My weekend is going great! I hope things keep going well..


Check ya laters

The Power Of Chukie Cheese

Well i was at chukie cheese's the other day grabbing pizza because i think that they have the best pizza in town, and this cute lady starts talking to me and before you know it we are sitting down at CC's eating our pizza's together. She told me about her life and i told her about my life and the military and we had alot of fun. So we exchanged numbers and as soon as she got off, she called me and we talked for hours. She is a really cool person, and she has been through alot in her life but she calls it gods will. Her mom died back in september and her dad died on the way to her moms funeral in a car wreck. I was shocked, but she was uplifting. God can give you strength in any situation.

Also i went to the lake last night andi caught 4 fish! Woo-hoo Well i gotta hop in the shower see ya later..

One Chance

Hello,


Well i have some news about drugs and just how they break up a family and destroy a person. I got an email from a group of people that i used to work with while i was stationed in Fla about a young lady's mother that i used to help and counsel with when i was there. The email told me that this lady who was 36 years old and had 4 kids overdosed on crack cocaine and her death was possibly a homicide. She was found by her 4 year old daughter and all of her kids were just strewn out and about the country now. This just breaks my heart. Drugs just suck. From marijuana to crack to heroin to acid to LSD to pills, it all just destroys familiies. This particular lady was using drugs at the age of 15. Thats a long time to be addicted to something. They say that she was 5'2 and 70lbs. :( Thats sad. She was a very beautiful lady. She had blonde hair, pretty blue eyes, and now she is dead from an overdose or maybe more. Now there are kids who are motherless. Theere is a mother who doesnt have a daughter anymore. If you know anyone who has a problem with that stuff, stop them help them do whatever you can no matter how much they resist. It could be your one chance to save there lives.

Helping the homeless dogs and cats

Today i decided to go out and help people at the local petstore host a animal adoption day, and find some really nice pets some good homes. There were alot of biiiiiiiiiiiig doggies and a really tiny teenie taco bell dog. There was a cat with 3 legs and a cat that weighed 17 pounds. BIIIIIG Kitty. All in all it was a very very fun day and i look forward to doing it again..

Leave is almost over and it is going faster than ever

Fishing On The Dam

Hey guys

I had a lot of fun today. For starters, i fished on the dam today and although i did not catch a thing, i helped a guy reel in a 35 lb catfish. I was like wow! He was freaking huge. He fins on the side were so old that they didnt even hurt when you touched them. I could have put two grown men's fists down his arm. He was huge. After that, i went to the base and decided to shop and then i ran into my friend Holly who is a girl mechanic on B-52 Bomber planes. Now this chic doesnt even look like she likes dirt, but i heard that she is one of the best. I guess thats why they say dont judge a book by its cover. Anyhow, we chatted and she told me that she is gonna try and go into another field within the air force and that she had recently gotten out of a bad relationship and she was going to get a yorkie that they called pickles, and she wanted to know if i wanted to join her. So i did, and we went to get pickles.:/ Now yorkies can be coool dog, but pickles was very hyper and her soon to be former owner said that she hated to be talked about in a negative way, and if pickles heard you say that she had fleas, she would get mean..lol So you know me... i had to try. So here is pickles and i put her in my lap. So i say..pickles it looks like you have a flea or two on you... and what do you know... Rooooooooooooooooof Rooooooooooooooof Roooooooooof Yap yap yap yap with her little teefies showing. So i say sorry sorry you dont have fleas. LOL i was crying. So i decided to do it again and what do you know... yap yap yap yap roooooooooof rooooooooooooof with teefies showing..LOL So no pickles and fleas.

Well thats it for now i how to talk to you laters

Leaving Texas

Hey guys,

I had fun in Mckinney Tx even though i thought that i wouldnt. My buddy's family has a house that isnt being used in Mckinney and we could stay there rent free, but it would be a pain to drive to Ft.Worth everyday. I also went out to eat at some resturants here and i also tried starbucks for the first time and it was nassssssty. puke!

Well we will be leaving here soon, and my nephew woke up about 30 minutes ago and they are gonna run more tests on him and see if there was any perm damage. If not, they are gonna move him to Kentucky :/. Thats far but i guess if that is best then so be it.

I also went to Chukie Cheese(they have good pizza) and passed the zoo this weekend and i really wann go.

Well i will post later

I hope everyone had a good weekend

Texas

Heya guys.. i made it to mckinney tx and we are going to look at apartments tomorrow. My newphews condtion is still improving but slowly:( It is about 9pm and my buddies parents have stuffed shrimp and grilled shrimp for us to eat and it smells yummy! Tonite we are supposed to go out after grub and see the town of mckinney:/ I told them there isnt a thing to see here but they insist so we will go. We also run in the morning about 5am as a part of exercise. I will post again. I hope everyone has a good weekend.

Simple

Hey guys, how are you

I wanna know a simple answer to a simple question..well maybe it isnt simple but i would like to know more about you...


The question is What would your life be like if you had made a change in the way your life panned out today. What would be differnt? Would it be the same? Would it be worse? Would it be better?

Be honest.. i wanna know heeh

War

War..yea war. I had a talk with some people today and they wanted to know about iraq. I gave the blog adress. They wanted to know what job(s) i did in the military. I told them. They then asked me if i was some war junkie. An adrealine junkie. I sat there..in silence. Then i replied. I am in Special Operations. You wouldnt understand. They looked at me as if i insulted them. I didnt. It is the truth. Unless you have been in special ops and in war, you wont understand. All of the things that i have written on the blog dont even scratch the surface. I am in the military inside a military. I intially tried out for this all volunteer job because i wanted to attract chics( i was 17) but i realized that it was more than that. Some ask if i would go back to iraq. Yeah i would. I would go out..sit behind a .50 cal, call in airstrikes on the ground, miss meals for days, not shower for weeks and yet the average person wouldnt understand. It is more than just serving your country. It is more than chics. I guess thats why we have a 95% divorce rate within our job field. When i was a kid, i always wanted to be in special ops. To sneak in under the cover of darkness undeteced with night vision goggles on with six guys who have a mission to secure an airfield and take out communications within the area. Its six versus 75 men. They are at such a disadvantage. The squad moves, people act, and we leave undeteced and when it is time, shit starts to blow up and the airfield is secure from any threat. Misson complete..well for now. Or to be in a firefight with bullets whizzing by your head as you call in coordiantes to blow up the assholes who are shooting at you. People dont understand. Most people would think it is cold and heartless...blood thirsty, but it isnt. People wouldnt understand. I train for war. That is my primary objective. To complete missions and come home alive. Most people ask how do i run on little sleep. Honestly i cant tell you. The Air Force Pararescue Motto is So that others may live..now we work close with these guys but it is a combat controllers second motto. So others may live... Live to laugh, bitch,gripe,complain...we do it. All of the military does. Ya know alot of people just dont understand what they have until its gone. Wiped out. I have a uncle in Slidell La and he lost everything but the exterior of his house and hes as happy as can be. I like that.

Also people have told me that i should go and talk to the military shrinks if i feel i need to. I cant. There is no need to. War is War and i have a 90% wartime mission and a 10% peacetime misson. I dont want it to go into my personel file for one and for two i dont need a guy/girl telling me the textbook answers to my problems. They dont know. They werent there. I mean there is no solution if you will to seeing a woman getting stoned to death because she didnt clean the house. It doesnt matter how much "therapy" happens...it wont go away. It wont go away that with me behind a .50 cal, a grown man decided to point a rgp in the air towards me..i fired and the bullets went through him and took a young kids life. Therapy doesnt do anything for that. What about the time that i have spent over there. Thereapy cant bring that back. I respect and admire you guys for telling me about therapy but i just dont think it will help...maybe i will try one session off base and see but i doubt it will help.

Lastly...as far as the couple who thought that i should kiss my dads ass because he brought me into this world... it aint gonna happen. As some people on here know i stand up for what i believe in, and neglecting your kids for money and women is not right and i wont accept that as being correct because i was brought into this world due to an act of sex sorry.

Well i gotta run..nite

Hey guys,

Well i have few intresting things to post about. Well my newphew and he is doing better..a whole lot better. My sperm donor(father) and the things that he did. The crazy girl that works at the store with 6 kids that wants me to support her and her 6 kids. No chic fil a, but there is a place called Krystal Burger..Umm Umm. Also the texas death row escapee was captured in the town where i am stationed and his stupidity. And last but not least i will be moving to Ft.Worth Texas to the Naval Air Station for a few. Yaaa :( Oh and i almost forgot Brad from 3 Doors down called to see how my nephew was. Hes a good guy and we have been friends for a good bit. I will tell you how things really are in the Gulf States. He lives there and told me some pretty disturbing things.

Well here is the nephew news that im proud about. Well he is out of icu, swelling is going down rapidly. He had to have surgery on his back(spine) and his spline was removed and all other organs were checked and cleared. WHOO HOO!!

Now on to Sperm Donor adventures. Also i will say that if you are a sensitive person, PLEASE STOP READING NOW. There youve been warned :D
Well i knew that my bio dad was gonna come here and i was like great, this will be fun. Well he called me and said that he had landed. So i went to go and get him and since i did not have any other clothes besides my 4 pair of military uniforms, i put that on and went to the airport in the goverment car that i drove down here in. I stopped at the local gas station, and i was harrassed but i got a twix and some new jalepno dorritos..man they are good. Well i left and i headed to the Airport. Well when i get there i see him and heres how my time with him has been.

Me: Hi. How are you?
Sperm Donor: I am ok son, how are you?
Me: I am great.
SD: Son i need to go to the counter and make some changes on my itenerary.
Me: K.
SD: Well cmon its over here.
Me: k. Do you need some help with those bags.
SD: Wow shes a cutie huh
Me: yea shes cute
SD: Hi I need to make some changes to my itenarary
Airlines Lady: Ok Sir, and whats your name?
SD: Perry.
Airlines Lady: Are yall together?
Me: Yes Maam
AL: Wow you too look alike.
SD: This is my son
AL: Cool, Did you just get back from Iraq.
Me: Yes Maam
Sd: Yea my son is in the Army. He has been in for quite some time. I think that he will make it a career.
Me: Maam I am in the United States Air Force.
Sd: I told him that he needs to get kids.
AL: Maybe one day huh
Me: yes maam one day
AL: My son is 22 and he has been in the Army since he was 17.
Me: I am 25.
AL: *confused look*
SD: inaudible as i walk away
AL: Thanks. See you later Mr. Air Force
ME: *waves*
SD: So which way
Me: this way.
SD: So how is your mom? Is she seeing anybody.
Me: Look man. You dont have to seem as if you know alot about me or that we are big buddies. Its ok. I am not mad. Just be yourself. Also my mom is fine and what she does is her business unless she wants to tell you.
SD: So what base are you at.
Me: Barksdale Air Force Base
SD: Do you like it?
Me: No.
SD: So where does your mom live now?
Me: In the Southern US.
SD: Oh ok.
SD: wow a goverment car.
Me: yup its a means of transportation
SD: Nice.
Me: yea its ok
Me: The trunk is open
SD: Alright. So do you have a girlfriend?
Me: No.
SD: You should get one. you were raised good son.
Me: Yes i know. My grandmother and my auntie and my mother did a wonderful job.
SD: How is your granny.
Me: She is ok, my mother is in cali visiting her now
SD: So what kinda work is your mother doing now?
Me: Did you not hear anything that i was saying? Ya know what big man, do you what her number?
SD: Hell no! I dont want her to rip me a new asshole for calling her.
Me: Well then quit talking about her.
SD: So i hear that Army Life is hard.
Me: maybe it is. I dont know, I am in the Air Force
SD: Oh yeah i keep forgetting.
SD: *makes phone call to call his friends*
Me: I am going to meet Sis's husband for some food. You hungry?
SD: YEa where are you going.
Me: Bennigans or somewhere like that.
Sd: mind if my friends come along?
Me: nope
Sd: So how is my grandson?
Me: So you finally decide to ask now huh? He is doing better
SD: Good i knew he would be a trooper. Do you know that i am losing 300.00 per day being here.
Me: Good for you
SD: *tells friends where we will be*
Me: Can you call Sis's husband to tell him where we are going
SD: Sure son.
Me: *getting aggravated by the son thing*
SD: *makes call*
Sd: Ya know son, i thought about you alot over there. I know more about you kids than you think.
Me: ....
Sd: Why are you looking like that?
Me: Nothing.
Sd: cmon. quiz me
Me: no thanks
Sd: Cmon
Me: Sit back and enjoy the ride man.
Sd: Seriously son. Quiz me.
Me: *pissed now* Ok. WHen is my birthday? What college did i go to? How many times have i been to war?
SD: Son your birthday is April 27th and you went to University of Texas and you went to afganistan once and iraq once.
Me: *shakes head*
Me: Sorry man. My birthday is Aug 27 and i went to Louisiana State University and Tennesse State. I have been to iraq and afghanistan more than once.
Sd: hmm why did i think that
Me: Because you didnt know so stop faking like you do. This isnt about you and i, its about my little buddy.
SD: There is sis's husband
Me: Yep.
Me: *walks into resturant and his friends are there*
Me: greeets everyone
So as we sit down at the table the conversation comes up about me once again
SD: Guys i have a 2003 Checy Z71 that i have been dying to give to a Army Guy, if any of you guys know of one personally, then let me know. I think this person deserves it.
Me: *grabbs cell phone* Rinnnnnnnnnnnng. Hey Sgt. Walker.
Walker: Hey Hawk whats up
Me: I have my dad over here and he wants to give some Army Personel a Chevy Z71, are you intrested.
Walker: YEA!!
Me: hold on. Hands him phone
SD: ERR Umm hello.
Walker: inaudible
SD: I meant for my son, im sorry guy. *hands me back phone*
Me: see ya walker

Sighh I wont go into it anymore, but thats the kinda shit i dealt with him since he has been here.

Now on to the crazy girl at the store who has 6 kids and wants a sugar daddy to take care of her. Just because i have military written all over me, does that mean that i want to do that. Thats crazy. I think people should just be themselves and dont worry about trying to gold dig. :/

I was on the phone last nite with someone when it came across the news that the texas death row inmate was in the town where im stationed. WTH? SO the guy breaks out of jail or walks out just to go to a liquor store to get messed up? Well i am glad that they caught him, but i dont know why he thoguht that he could go into the "hood" and not have a thing to worry about. Hell he had a 10k bounty on his head...lol wat a retard. Well im glad noone was hurt..

Also, i am going to Carwell NAS in Fort Worth. *shakes head* Now what am i gonna do there! Cap isnt too worried about it, but i dont wanna be out there doing "medical training". We are supposed to offically go on leave on wed. After that its on too Fort Worth Texas. :/

And last but not least, my friend Brad from 3 doors down called me and told me that he heard about my nephew and he wanted to know if we needed anything like blood donations or anything. I told him no and i asked him about how the hurricane cleanup was coming. He said that the goverment was giving people a hard time and they still wont admit fault. He told me that if the band wasnt well off that they would be in trouble. He also said that the goverment is hiring illegal aliens to rebuild the Gulf States to save money :/ Thats crazy...

Well i gotta runn..see ya later

My Little Sweet Heart

Hey guys i just got call from CAP and he said that his daughter wanted to talk to me. So now im like uh oh...cheetos and saddam was the last conversation, and now what. She told me that she was hoping that i was ok, and she wanted her daddy to take her to PetsMart to see the dogs that were waiting on people to adopt them? She also told me that her daddy embarrassed her by dancing to Christina Auglera in front of her friends..CAP DONT DO THAT!!!

Also i found a pic of here when we were about to deploy a while back. She was a part of a kids and understanding deployment mission. She is a cutie.. She is on the bottom right with the brown hair..she always Cheeses when the camera is on...

Its kids like her that make this whole air force thing worth it :P

Today

Well today was a day to be thankful...

The kid that lost his parents was released or is soon to be released and he has a funeral to attend for his parents. My nephew is being a little solider. He is doing great...fighting infection and they are gonna stick a tube down his throat and look inside. Now why didnt they do that before? Doctors are so smart they are stupid i think..


I think that they should also make hospital couches for people who are over 5'8.
Also right now about 15 minutes ago was the first time that i have cried in a long time. I can save people in iraq, but i cant save my own family. "/

Today as i went to get a half dozen doughnuts, i saw two homeless men arguing over a piece of tin. Its cold here...and that will go well on someones house. His cardboard box. I saw two old guys box over a piece of tin. Sigh

Other than that im ok...

catch ya laters thanks for your support

update

Today i got up grabbed something to eat, booked a hotel room on base, and i fell asleep in the shower. Yes i said i fell asleep in the shower standing up. I was tired. After that power nap, i decided check on my nephew...He was on alot of meds. His blood pressure was lowering to a stable level. They cleaned his face up and we saw some cuts and brusies. I spoke with the doctor who is awesome and she said that they believe that he has alot of brusied organs and until the swelling goes down around his brain, they wont really know anything. They have all said that he is lucky to be alive. So with his condition as it is, i left to get away from the hospital and i tried to get my sister and her husband to come back to the hotel room and rest and i would stand watch at the hospital. Well my sister said no, but her husband said yes and i escorted him back on base and he crashed. Then i was driving around checking out the eating places in this new town and i saw some evacuees still in a shelter. So i stopped and talked to some of them, and i saw the kids looking so sad. So i decided to go and get gifts cards(certificates) to mcdonalds for all 20 of the kids, and well it didnt go so well. Then i tried wendys, subway, and then there was burger king. Well i thought that i could get a3 gift card for all of the kids, and well it was a 5.oo min limit on the card. So i spent a hundred bucks at Burger King and the kids were happy. Alot of them want to go back home to New Orleans. :( Then i told them what i was doing here and one little girl decided to get her friends together to do a card for my cousin. I will pick that up tomorrow and i hope that my cousin will like it when he sees it. I know he will get better. I would also like to thank everyone for there prayers and there support and the support of me and how my blog is run.

The Hubby&Wife duo sent e-cards that i printed out and alot of people who opposed and liked some of the things that i write banded together to help in this time of need. IF there is anything that i can ever do to repay you guys i will. Thanks alot from the bottom of my heart. Well im gonna run and check out you guys blogs and reply to them and i hope you guys have a nice day.

Bad Times

Well with things going on all around it me, i get more bad news. My half sisters son was in a car with his friends mom and dad as they were coming back from some kids party or game or something and they were hit by a drunk driver. The mother and Father of his friend were killed and i rushed to be by there side. I am here now and will post and update later. My nephew is is serious condition and i know that he was in surgery when i arrived at 330am this morning. I will keep you posted.

Well i can say that the response to the emails from my last post were..well they were good and bad. I can however say that i am not a bad person. I am very outspoken. I try to understand everyones feelings. I am not rude or anything... I just feel that everyone has an opnion and people should respect it as long as it doesnt disrespect them.... I tell people all the time that i speak from my heart...some people may like it and some people may hate it... I dont write to make other people happy or mad. I write so that i may look back on this one day when im old and sitting in rocking chair showing this to my grandkids. I am sorry if any of you were offended by any of my posts and even to the person who said that even though im home, im still too vivid and graphic. I didnt mean to do anything. This is the life that i live. I am not perfect. I accept you guys criticism. It makes me stronger. It makes me able to go out and live life and so better each and every day. There was a guy and his wife that were aggravated or pissed off because i said that i was proud of myself because i wasnt like i was years ago. Well i am. When i was 15 years old, i was thinking that i was invisible. I thoguht that death couldnt happen to me. I have lived and learned and in the words of a good friend, i have learned to pick and choose my battles.
I owe the bloggers and the rest of my friends and family alot. You guys helped me come home from iraq and if i had to do it again i would, but not without "smurf" the guy who reads my blog and sends the joke of the day and the latina lady who likes curry, or erin and her kids and suz, and holli and nathan being the human-dog that he is, or mamma with her cute kids and hurricanes, or holli and her beer stories, or wegrit and her sports and beer, or AliAliALi..hell the list goes on... All that i can say is before you get mad or read on impluse...reread and try to understand where im coming from :D


As for the things that have hapened to me today..well they were intresting. I got up this morning to CAP banging on the door saying that i needed t o turn on the news. SO i got up scratching and yawning and i let him in. HE grabbed the remote and he said a helo went down in ramadi! I immediatly woke up. This is big news... The helo that went down CAP knew those guys but not well. This was the first time that i actually saw CAP cry. CAP is alot like me. He doesnt cry unless it is at a funeral of someone really close or something drastic prior to a funeral going on. Reality set in at that point. I was like how do i console this guy who has aligator tears coming down his cheeks. I am just there..in my scooby doo boxers wrapped in a comforter in utter confusion. Not confused about the helo going down, but confused about the guy known as CAP.. the best dancer in all of the world crying. He didnt even cry when his wife was naked on webcam as he walked in the house unannounced. He didnt cry when others things moved him, but he cried now. I musterd up the guts to say im sorry man.... Man we did all we can do. Ya know alot of people dont know this, but i went through the first ever depression when i was in flight back home. Holli asked me if the military provided us with counseling or anything. Well its available, but i didnt go. I just dealt with it on my own. As i sit back and think about it, we prolly would have been there, but there was nothing that could have been done. Hell we obviously came back in one piece for a reason. I tried to tell CAP that, but i think that his wife and kids and unknown career path is really getting to him..Hell i cant even watch the news. When i log on to yahoo they have AP news streaming and it always has some news about a solider who has died or been severely injured in iraq. I didnt know that the media actually kept up so closeley with the number of deaths in iraq. I saw the video tonite about the helo going down and i saw the wreckage. Now why would someone do that in a time of war. Show footage of a crashed attack helo when there are many many families out there that have family members who fly in this type of helo. Alot of families got scares, but someone got the reality today. Someone got two marine officers knocking on there door telling them that there loved ones were dead. Ya know i actually had a dream while in iraq that we were shot down. My dream was so real. I could actually remmeber the helo falling. CAp and the Co pilolt screaming commands and then the impact! Ironically i survived the impact...all the crew were dead and well.. i died a violent death. That was a wakeup call. Today was a bad day for ppl who fly...whethere they are in the cockpit or abroad...

Also i got wind that Tony Romas a reaturant was closing down here in the area. I got with the manager and he gave me gobs and gobs of steak, shrimp, tony roma sauce and may other things. If you guys want some sauce..please let me know. I will try to fed ex you some sauce. I have too much to to store. All of the proceeds went to the organization that i work for as my second job...if you want some of that or some of the sauce or potato soup stuff let me know i wil ship it on dry ice...


well im off too work..see ya laters

Today has been a day....A day to rejoice...A day to be thankfulA day feel happy that i saw rain againAnd a day to get the biggest ass chewing by someone who didnt have any reason to do so, and i was just the first victim that they came across i presume.Now, a little about me. I am a guy that isnt hard to understand. I just cant really deal with lies, cheaters and people who make massive amounts of excuses that arent needed. Now some may say that these words come from a hardened military guy who is strictly military all the time, and they may be the case but i am a a gentlemen. I was raised not to disrespect women. My ma and my granny always told me that women were precious. They were the things that actually kept this world together. I truly live by that day after day. This ass chewing of course was by a women, and i really think that if it wasnt for those values learned over the years that i probably would have said some things that shouldnt be said to a women. I am happy...I didnt even think them. I was just like man i wonder what Dr.Phil would say. I bet he couldnt get out of this.. :D I am here in the states and the problems of Iraq have vanished. The problems of the USA and life in its normal ways has begun to surface. Wow....shit i bet iraq would have been better for getting cursed at and insulted for something that you didnt do say or cause. I sat there like a trooper. It reminded me of the time that i was in Tech School. There was this guy by the name of Airman Sonday. He was on the verge of getting kicked out of the Air Force and he of course screwed up again, and i decided to try and be the bigger man by taking the blame for this guy and saving him from being discharged from the military. Well i got my ass chewed and spit out and chewed and spit some more and wowzers. It was bad. I guess those are the way cards are dealt in life. Mac Called me this evening and she told me that she was going home in Dec. and we talked about iraq and stuff and then i asked her if she could help me with a question. Hell its more than a question.. It is the million dollar question. How does a woman work? IS there any college on earth that offers courses in womanology? If it is i need to go. Hell if i knew what made a woman tick, i would be a very wealthy guy and i would have the answer than every man over the age of 15 years of age wants to know. Woman are very very very strange people in there own beautiful way. Well thats how that is. It is what it is. I am a good guy. That is the one thing that i can brag on. I am a good guy. I know that if all of the normal women are married or abducted by aliens or somewhere amist the crazy psycho women, if i find one im set. Hell i was just playing around on the net last night and there was a police department online and i decided to to just email the Chief Of Police not thinking that iwould hear from him and i told him about my qualifications and what i have acomplished and this guy has emailed me about 10 times. He wants me to come to him asap. Hell it feels good being wanted. One day i want kids like my buddy CAP has. Kids that hate cheetos because Saddam eats them, or ones that call me like they did today and ask me what mountain oysters were. :/ It was funny as hell, and i had to create a kid friendly way to tell them what they were but i like that. I am good with kids and they love me. I cant understand why people dont take care of there kids. I was one of those kids that didnt get taken care of by my bio dad, but i just dont get it. Being a father to me wouldnt be a burden, it would be a privledge. Its the best way to see yourself walking or running around. A chance to actually see what your parents went through with our bad asses :P I also went to the Air Force base and i saw a guys wife shopping at thr BX. Her husband was injured in Iraq and is paralyzed. I look and i think. Now thats a wife. Some people would have ducked there tail and they would have just run away, but she stuck by him. Thats love. She was telling me about the house and how it had to be reconstructed to fit to his needs. She is going back to school to be a doctor so that she can take care of him. Thats sacrifice. I also was in a meeting today at my second job, and i found out that a guy who runs a homeless shelter that based on rigorus religion on a daily basis has fathered kids within this shelter with girls 15 and 16 years old. *shakes head* No charges have been filed and this guy freely walks around and he can preach the word of god, but he doesnt live it. He tried to test the water with me today and well i stood my ground and he was not pleased. I guess that is just a part of me being me. I am straight forward, but loving. Well i that i can do is hope that tomorrow will be better. IT was better than iraq, but i hope it will be better all the way around. Also......If you ladies are willing to tell me the secret of a woman i would love to know. :DNite

Crazy Day Pt. 2

Well here is crazy day part two. I rode with CAP to Tx with his kids. I think we sang 99 bottles of root beer on the wall like 99 times and i cant get that crazy song out of my head. I wanna grab the .50 cal and shoot that guy for keeping that stupid song going for so long..lol Well we went to court regarding CAP and his divorce and then we set out for family day in the park. I want kids sooooooo bad. I wanna play with them in the park. CAP's kids love me. We played on the swing and we threw rocks in the park and we chased the little duckies that went quack quack quack quack..lol We ate food in the park and had a picnic. One of CAP's kids asked me if i talked to Saddam? I was like umm no baby i didnt, but i saw him once. She said he looks like the Grinch Uncle Perry. Is he mean. I said hunny he is just differnt, but he does like cheetos. Then she said Uncle Perry i dont like cheetos anymore then. :/ HAHAHAHAHa Kids are something else...

Well we drove back and i ate at jack in the box! I ordered 6 tacos... a chicken sandwhich and some potato wedges...umm umm umm umm um..

laters

Crazy Day Pt 1

Today while at job number two i got a call from the District Attorney http://www.26thda.org/ and i was like hmmm. Well if you guys remember per my previous post, i work extensively in the inner city as a casemanager and im known throughout the Southwest US quite well for my work. Well he called and he told me that he had a case that he wanted to me to look at and see if i could help this guy. I said sure and he gave me the demographics of the case, and well i told him that i could help the guy, but i could only help him from a distance because he was a sex offender and the place that i work for doesnt accept sex offenders because they have a daycare and all of the liability. He thanked me for this and about 20 minutes later i get a call from the Public Defenders office and she proceeds to tell me about the case even more. So she tells me that there was a mother who had 7 kids and one day she just got tired for caring for all of her kids, and she plotted a way to get "rid" of her kids. Well after careful planning on her part she decided to convince her younger son to say that her older son sexually abused her. Well as procedure calls, the police were called and so was CPS. The guy was arrested while the investigation was ongoing and they kid said that the brother sexually abused him . Well there was a rape kit done on the kid, and nothing was found. No penetration, no brusies, no cuts, nothing. There was no physical evidence, no dna..nothing. Well the kid was given a Public defender and the case was assigned to the District Attorney. So the Public Defender told me that the D.A. told her that this was out of his hands and that the guy who was 17 at the time needed to take a plea of sexual batter by incest which would make him a sex offender for life, or get the life in prison at Angola State Pen. Well i asked the Public Defender why she chose to take the plea instead of going to trial because there was no evidence, and she stated that the kid was black and would most definately get life in prison because of the area and the parish that he was in, and that she couldnt get a hold to the victim who was in custody by the state and the mother would not appear in court and by law she didnt have to talk to the defender because she had a son who was the victim and the alleged offender. So i asked the denfender what happened. She said that the kid got a year in jail and probation and he gets out sometime next month. He also has to register as a sex offender for a crime that they know he didnt commit, and he needs an address to go to if he wants to get out on his release date. Well i make a few calls and noone in this area takes sex offenders. I am at odds over this. Here we have a kid who is 18, doesnt have anyone in the world to go to, no car, no job and within the first 21 days of his release he must register as a sex offender and pay the 200.00 fee but he doesnt have the money. If he doesnt come up with the money he goes back to jail for revoking his probation. Damn... for a mother to set her own son up like that is just plain cruel. Also now the mother has decided that she wants her kids back, and the state of louisiana is giving her the option to go through parenting classes and life skills classes to get her kis back. WOW! After all of this she still gets all 7 of her kids back if she keeps herself free from trouble...Today was a hard day..I still never found a place for the kid.....Sometimes you just cant help everyone...See ya I will post later about my trip to TX with cap which has been rather exciting. When i have time and my wireless connection stays up for more than 10 minutes i will post about the trip with the kids.