Sandstorms yet again

Hey guys...sandstorms prevented us yet again from pounding these guys like i thought that we should have. Today was a day that i wanted to get in there and really give them a run for there money. I found out today that Abdullah(a local kid) was shot for proctecting his sister from being raped by the insurgents. He was the kid that some of you guys sent gifts too and even a walk man portable cd player in which he walked around and displayed as if it was gold or something. He was a sweet kid. He used to talk with us via an interpretor and he wanted to be the first iraqi king crab fisherman. Now why he wanted to do that, i dont know. He was advid about it. I gave him crab fishing books and pictures, and a navy intrepretor wrote down a 200 page book in his language so that he could read about the crab. Dammit! I usually check on him at least every other day or so and today i didnt. If i would have checked on him, maybe he wouldnt have been in the situation that he was in. His father was killed in front of him execution style by the insurgents and he had a very very distasteful attitude for the insurgents in iraq. HE was like the Malcom X of Iraq. Ive seen him walk up to known insurgents and say there he is there he is. He fought and spit on them. He was very vocal but young. He liked rap music and he liked Garth Brooks. What a mix. He liked snickers and M&Ms. We gave his family alot of money to help them out after his dad died. Dammit Shit Hell Dam Fuck. I dont really care about the insurgents being killed but kids and innocent people really get to me. We are gonna find out who was behind this indirectly and i hope that...well i will be silent about that. Justice will prevail! The last thing that he told me was that his sister said that i was Tall Dark & Handsome. He told me that he wanted to be tall dark and handsome when he grew up. He respected me, and i told him that he had to be low key, but he said that his dad wouldnt want him to be. He was the true muslim. He followed the book like it was supposed to be followed. He was respectful, loving, caring and one of those families that had close ties to Saddam Hussien. His father was electrocuted by Saddam and his thugs. His dad was one of the lucky ones. I know that he didnt have any fear, but maybe if i would have just....hell i dont know. I feel like i should have done something. Shit. There isnt a thing that can be done. Its done, its over with...its gone and it can never be taken away. I dont think that i can even face his mother and sister again. I cant believe it. This country is about the most unstable damn place that i have ever been. I have been working in the inner city back home all over the USA and hell its nothing like this. I was able to talk to some people that work in the inner city. I have news yet again. There was a guy by the name of Smoke. Smoke was a 22 year old kid who was a drug seller. A nickel and dime kind of drug dealer if you will. Smoke always told me that he was gonna leave drug dealing alone and get his GED and go to college, but not today...maybe tomorrow Hawk. Thats what he would always say. Well he bit the bullet a few days ago. He and his mom were walking down the street and some old enemy shot him in the head and shot his mother in neck. Damn. 23 years old and his life is snuffed out behind drugs. This kid could run up and down a basketball court faster than you could blink your eye. Now his mom has a son that is dead. He didnt die on the spot, he died about 5pm CST but his mother saw him when he died. Real enemies are the ones over here. There are no bad asses or gangsters in the USA. The real fucking killers are these fools over here. Life can be tough sometimes. Mac toldme that i should cry and maybe i would feel better, but im not the one who cries. So also while we were sitting here eating beef jerky and just talking, here comes yet another yell for mail. So my buddies get up and beckon me to come with them and i do, and i'll be a motherfucker. ya know some women are just fucking cruel. One of my buddies gets a picture of his dog that he thought was sold(because of his wifes cruel intentions was not in fact sold, but was still alive and at home) dead(according to the picture with blood around his fur) This was obviously disturbing, and i looked at the "dead dogs" photos over and over and over again while sipping on some soup in a cup and i realized that this could not be true. So i had a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend that new a police officer to go to the house a on a routine patrol, and there was lucky healthy and as undead as possible. People can be so cruel...*shakes head* Why go through the trouble. As for me in iraq, i am ok. Im waiting on the sandstorm to blow over and well ill be at it again. I have just been in one of those moods. Ya know..just a i could have been more productive in my day mood. I have just been really short with people today and its not that i dont care, its that i sit here and ponder about people and i think about situations and ya know.....well....shit aint like it used to be. I guess you only have one chance and one opportunity to say what you mean to people like me, and there are certain people back home that wanna hold things in and not say what you mean. Shit...you could be gone in a second and never have the chance to say what you wanted...i just think that it is crazy that people just take chances. Why deal drugs? Why kill a kid? Why rape? Why send a photo of a dog tat you put make up on a shit to make look dead when he isnt? Why cheat...why lie? Hell i guess we could all ask why o why o why huh. Here i am in iraq, getting shot at and gettting rpgs fired at me and people have the spare time to make dogs appear as if they were dead? Oh and i just got a follow up email and the kid who shot smoke was only 19. So here we have a 23 year old dead, a 40+ year old wounded, and a 19 year old held with charges of murder and attempted murder. I am sure that this guy would love to have that day taken back. Once you pull the trigger that is it. I know i do it on a daily basis. I pull the triigger and before i can blink my eye i see someone fall. I instantly realize that since i am a good shot that someone has lost a sister, mother, brother, cousin, uncle, aunt, dad. I cant take it back nor am i proud of it, but war is war nomatter the reason or its validity. Well i think i have bored you guys enough... So i will end it here

gotta fly